June 2012
1 post
Me: Ugh, why isn't my pizza done yet?
Mom: It's been in for three minutes. Just wait.
Me: I DID MY WAITING!
Mom: Oh, god, not again.
Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!
Mom: Every time.
Me: IN AZKABAN!
May 2012
90 posts
keepyourcorsetstight:
drbippy:
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.
plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter
But Depp’s love interest, Helena Bonham Carter, should be played by Johnny Depp.
Have you ever just listened to a recording of you talking and then felt terrible for anyone who’s ever had to talk to you ever
baraskank:
oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
possibly the greatest poem ever written by a first...
isabelthespy:
Persons
People can walk but not handsanitizers Because handsanitizers don’t have legs
thorhead:
do you think when johnny depp agrees to be in a movie with a different director he goes home at night and tim burton is just there with his face pressed against the window and johnny has to close the curtains to avoid feeling guilty
